| Desperation and the Issue of Blood
written by Jenny Orr
Matthew 5:25-34 KJV [comments in brackets are added]
"And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood [hemorrhaging] twelve years,and had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse,When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment.
For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.
And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague.
And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue [healing power/energy] had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes?
And his disciples said unto him, Thou seest the multitude thronging thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?
And he looked round about to see her that had done this thing.
But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her, came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth.
And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague."
Often, we find ourselves in the presence of people who need or want something from us. There are times when God gives us grace to take time for them, to help, to comfort.
I was at a woman's house cleaning today, and the lady's wheelchair brake was broken, and she was anxious about it. A malfunction like that could wipe her out and break her hip! I fiddled with it for awhile, then called the company whose number was on the chair. There would be a very large fee to fix the thing. But it was only a broken bolt!
I took the brake fixture off the chair and ran down to this amazing hardware store. The amazing thing about this store is that many older wonderful knowledgable gentlemen work there, each has his expertise and department, and if something can be done or found it will happen there.
When I think about all the cheapo hardwares or wharehouse places, I just sigh thinking about hunting for 45 minutes just to find someone to come there to your isle, and then likely they know nothing and mostly don't care either. Now, the guys at my special hardware don't make any more that the guys at the wharehouse, but all I can say is THANK GOD for mature helpful people.
I showed him her brake and he zipped right over, had it all set up, cost me all of 50 cents. That company would have charged her minimun 25 bucks just to drive over to her house. You see? We are in this together, we are taking care of each other, we are deciding to continue learning of the Lord's ways and values and concerns and make sure we do what we can to bring them to one another.
It wasn't much for me to run up the hardware and fix her brake. It wasn't much for that man to help me fix it. But it meant the world to her. It saved her alot of trouble and cost. It relieved her troubles a great deal.
At other times, though, it's not so easy. . . . What might be happening when someone insists on imposing their presence on us? What might be going on when someone has overstayed their welcome, exceeded our bounds, pushed our buttons?
I had a pastor years ago who used to talk about Jesus and the woman with the issue of blood. It always fascinated me that the Lord Jesus felt virtue flow out of him when she touched the hem of his garment. He hadn't seen her yet. But he felt the virtue flow.
The definition of passion, is "to suffer," and he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised with our iniquity, our sins and pains and sorrows fell upon Him, and by his stripes we are healed.
Well my pastor used to say, "You know sometimes we get worn out and exhausted, we are ministering alot, working alot, or we go thru this very trying or draining experience, and we think, I am depleted! I am empty and tired and have nothing left to give!" He said, "You know, maybe we aren't used to virtue flowing out of us, the way the Lord Jesus was."
Years and years ago, I was friends with a "problem" lady in our church. I don't want to elaborate on that, but let's just say I was the only person who could handle being in the same room with this lady for any length of time. And I can tell you that after a couple of hours I was just worn out. If you've ever stayed with somebody having a mental episode, or overdose situation, and they are very distraught and out of whack mentally, you know what I am talking about. It takes every bit of restraint, of control of patience, of courtesy of silence, of kindness you have just to keep encouraging and not blow up.
How all this relates to the woman with the issue of blood and restraining our urge to scream at the obnoxious person who doesn't know how to behave:
You see, the woman with the issue of blood, she took. She needed, she was dying, Jesus didn't choose to give or to not give to her. She came and took what she needed when he didn't even see her. There was a huge throng of people there that day, the whole area. There to see this Jesus, and they saw him, and he saw them, and yet nobody else made a withdrawal of virtue from the Son of God there. He was passing thru on his way to a sick little girl, someone's daughter. Don't bother the Master, he is on his way to something more important than your problem.
The transaction that takes place happens with or without our knowledge or consent and can be downright rude maybe, from our standpoint. They are taking taking taking. We didn't get to adjust ourselves beforehand. And they came in and took something from us, our private experience perhaps, our quiet moments with our daughter perhaps, we did not get to think about whether we were willing to give this, it just happened, we did not want it, now our ideals have been soiled. Our memories, which we had imagined in advance have been rewritten against our wishes.
But has a transaction of virtue flowed? Do we think it only happens when the day is sunny and we gave what we intended to give? Do we think it will always feel good, or controlled, or lovely? Maybe when virtue flows it hurts, it takes, it costs, it suffers.
If Jesus was going to accomplish his suffering, and make the exchange of his virtue for our sin all at once on the cross, suffering that one time, then why fight for every soul for that season beforehand. Why continue bearing with the annoying guy, and explaining it again, and again, and here, I will tell you again are you so thick?
The Kingdom of God is within you YOU YOU YOU. You can open up and the virtue can go into the other person. I am thinking that every transaction of God's virtue flowing thru Christ was difficult, was painful, was depleting and so he stole off whenever he could to let Father reassure, hug, bless, love him. Build him back up again.
Bearing up under pain or difficulty or abuse is a trait that is not much appreciated or sought after, but it is what I have learned from the seniors I clean for. That they have lost most of what they loved and appreciated, the comforts, hardly see the people they love anymore, constant chronic pain, and I don't ever hear one complaint. Hey are bearing up under trials and heartaches and thanking God for their lives. What this does for me I cannot even explain. The way this has changed my heart and my attitude and perspective of life and what matters and what doesn't, it is priceless. I could never hope to explain this to them, what they have given me with their grace in hardship, their love of the tiniest ray of sunshine.
In one sense it seems to me that we never do get refilled. We get more and more broken, more and more emptied. We just start to not have to decide or control it anymore, what it will feel like, how it will go down, how the memory must be written. We trust more.
Yes, Lord, you asked this and I gave it, and it felt great, but now, you ask this? And it is painful and hurts and is laden with doubts and fears and what? Oh, this is you working through me? And I need to trust you more than I ever have before?
And so what I gave yesterday was a half an hour of my time and a 50 cent bolt. And what the Godly gentleman in the hardware gave was five
minutes of his time, and kind words of support that yes, it is deplorable to charge an elderly person fifty dollars to change out a bolt in her wheelchair that costs 50 cents and a half hour of your time. But we didn't give hardly anything of ourselves for that. It's just that to my lady, her need was very different than my gift. The transaction was unbalanced in the proportion of what that meant to her, and not what it meant to me. If you are helpless and shut in and cannot go anywhere ever again, and the wheelchair is not just some little part of your life, it is the link to your being able to stay living in your home, then a bolt is like a pound of gold to you. A fifty cent bolt is everything to you. And the person that can get down on the floor and fiddle with it and make it work again is like the hand of God to make your life all better again. See?
The people that take more than we think we have to give, I believe are making hungry withdrawals of sustainance from Jesus' garment hem. They are touching, grabbing, desperate, hungry, grabbing something that is just a plain old piece of cloth, but it is connected somehow to the Lord and to his supply his love his warmth, his compassion, his suffering.
I also believe that every such transaction, including ours, even tho we imagine ourselves to understand better what we are taking, and maybe think ourselves more appropriately thankful of it, still, we all hurt the heart of God a great deal and yet he continues to let us take take take. And even when we think we are behaved or understanding the gift, we cannot possibly fathom what is being given and what is the quality or quantity of the gift taken or deservedness of the taking.
But take we must because we will die of hopelessness and emptiness and lovelessness if we do not continue like little birds with mouths gaping and greedily squealing for more more more. IT is the love of his life that continues to stir this ache in us, this desire to take it. To know it. To have it. We take it too, we assert ourselves into the memories too. Sometimes as believers we think ourselves more tidy and deserving though.
I think, if it has hurt you to bear with someone you think is awful, that some transaction has taken place, and that person now has something they didn't have before. You know some of those terrible people that came after Jesus, they experienced for the first time in their lives a person who embraced them, made them feel they were worth the trouble, sure, they were a mess, but they were worth finding and fighting for, and talking to, and being with.
Think of yourself as a big pot full of living water, with many spigots all around. People come at the oddest and most inconvenient times and turn on a faucet and get a drink. They don't ask, they are driven by thirst. But if they are taking, and drinking, it must mean a great deal to them to recieve it from you. To you it is just your little spout. To them it is everything.
A loaf of stale bread doesn't mean much to you when you have just stuffed yourself on a banquet. But if you have been thrown into a dungeon into darkness and starved for months, one piece of that bread can give you a reason to go on and hope and survive. And it can be the most important event of your life to get it, and you may not ever be able to tell the person that, even if you tried, all you could muster would be a thank you and that is so lame and unfit and worthless to describe what that meant to you. But it's all you can do and so you trust God to somehow equalize that and bless that person that you can never ever repay or even explain to.
Sometimes my kids want what I do for them, and not me. Are we not like this in our own ways with our Father? And yet, he knows as we wail like hungry babies, he will continue to feed and nourish us and one day we will want Christ. We will respond to His generosity and nurturing and desire to come to him not for what he can do for us or give us but because our hearts are bursting with desire for him. To know him and to "get" this love of his that is so different. So stubborn and persistent, he hurts when we do not see all that he is giving us, but he forgives and gives some more. Takes us through it again. Sends another lesson. Tries another approach, sends another friend, another enemy, another blessing, another storm.
The failure to thrive is a source or at least the beginning of the source for just about every ailment people have. And a hunger to live can look quite desperate or even ugly, but it is in a way a faith that there is something here from God for me, and I want to live and eat it and hunger no more.
Copyright © 2006 Jenny Orr
This was put together from three of Jenny's posts on Koinonia Life Discussion List and is used by permission. Jenny is a regular contributor to the discussion at Koinonia Life (where people share about spiritual life). If you'd like to know more about Relational Christianity and Koinionia Life you can click on this link: http://koinonia.org.il/
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